Updated: Jan 22
Have you ever bore witness to something that just made your stomach turn on end? The meal(s) you had that day suddenly, and quite violently, I might add, threaten to no longer remain inside you, as you just long for some fresh air from anywhere to hit your face.
I’m a Nurse. I’ve literally witnessed death
Nothing and I repeat nothing in this world prepares you to witness pain inflicted upon your child when you have zero ability to stop it. Not only can you not stop it, you yourself consented to having it done.
it’s the right thing. It’s the only thing.
Yet it doesn’t matter in that moment
Seeing a team of nurses and my husband hold my screaming, thrashing, writhing son down and blindly force a piece of plastic with magnets into each side of his nose in hopes of hooking them together not once but 4 different times was nearly more than I could handle.
you’re hurting him
you don’t seem to know
what you’re doing
get someone else
These weren’t just the thoughts screaming in my head to escape. These were actual words that came out of my mouth, and they had to be said. As a nurse I don’t like to criticize anyone‘s abilities to do their jobs, but as a parent it’s my only job and one I take very seriously to advocate for my little boy who can’t do so for himself. There were plenty of tries given, and failed attempts made, and now I’m saying no more. You find someone else who can do it or it doesn’t get done tonight.
If you take nothing else from my blog, please take this with you..you can always always say that’s enough. No more. We are done. I’d like someone else. We need a break. Whatever the situation may be you are always in control.
That someone else got Jude’s bridle on the first try.