As a child did you ever spin with your friends until you both let go, and you’d stagger one direction and then another before collapsing into a heap of laughter? It was such a rush in your belly to spin and spin and suddenly try to right yourself...yeah, it isn’t so much fun as an adult.
The constant “spinning” of the unknown makes you tired and weak as an adult. It makes you anxious and at times depressed as a parent. We had no idea what was wrong with Jude. We just had a never ending list of diagnoses and an equally long list of specialists appointments.
Everything becomes a symptom. Every part of your life so seemingly out of control you’re desperate to right yourself. We rushed to the ER on many occasions throughout the summer. Allergic reactions, chemical type burns, pulling out of the bridle, aspiration pneumonia, EMS calls, breathing issues, vomiting, our lives became a revolving hospital trip.
A circle, a continuous loop, our lives without answers. Home. Doctors visits. ER trips. Tests. Procedures. No answers.
Spinning and spinning